Looseness

Looseness jokes

Hitler

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?

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  • Slave

    What's the same with shoes and slaves?

    When they get loose, you tie them up.

    Poker

    Why did the tiger lose at poker?

    Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

    Baby

    What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.

    Mama

    Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.

    Woman

    Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

    Shirt

    What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

    "If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

    Get it?

    Migraine

    Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

    Game

    You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹

    Dog

    My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

    I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

    Animal

    One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

    ...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

    Orphan

    Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?

    The motherboard was nowhere to be found.

    Hare

    What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?

    The cops had to comb through the area.

    Poverty

    We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

    I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.