Linguistics jokes
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?