Linguistics jokes
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
It's punny.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.