Linguistics jokes
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
It's punny.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.