Linguistics jokes
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
It's punny.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.