Lettuce in jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce in.

Lettuce in who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?

Raisins.

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

Seizure salad.