Jump jokes
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.