IT jokes
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.