My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
