Newest Ill Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!

To All The Naruto Fans:

sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you

ok Gwen ill be offline for a while.... so if anyone by my name types anything its a fake. the only way u know its me if i say one of my nicknames. ok so yea take care of my account while im gone. BYE!!!!

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

Ok, so i know most or all of you guys hate me and thats fine. You guys most likey no me as a horrible person which idk where u would hear that from. And finally I am truly a good person u just need to know me better. The only reason I fought tina and jack was because i was trying to be nice to another guy. Then i relised what side i should have been. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just im sorry and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else i think all are nice people they just stick up for each other and thats what i relised. So if you still hate me its fine ill be leaving this app soon maybe. Hate makes me sad even though i use it but i know what was wrong i want to join the good side so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

Hoow on god's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

alr ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! have a good fucking life, i hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever ive passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beaf ill fight u bro, ur prob a stick, im fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

and hey ALYA and jk master how u guys doin? no one bieng ass to u guys today right if so ill beat them up :)

today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!' but it wasn't really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came.............................

AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy??!!! arn't u MAD!!!!!!! then she replied who's THAT!!??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN'T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!😊😊😊 but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said....................... oh he's moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma'm where! SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................

ok like for part two☺☺☺

before i die ima ask to be cremated. then ima eat a buncha popcorn kernels. then ill die, and get cremated. BOOM! im popcorn.

so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’

my ill sis said why did the bear said no to ice cream and I said why she said cuz it stuffed

Gf:babe,do you love me Bf:count the stars and thats how much i love you\\ Gf:but its morning sweetie.... Bf:Exactly Gf: :0,Ill take that as a no

Bf:roses are red violets are blue ur my bf and i luv you

Gf:i luv u too

Bf:but the roses are wilting the violets are dead i heard you were cheating ill knock off ur head

Gf:ah about that

Mom:its time for sleep.Baby:is that what you think huh.Mom:*gives baby pacifier*.Baby:nice try hobo.Mom:well ill come back later to see if hes gone asleep.*few hours later*Baby:*still awake* Mom:why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!.Baby:Lol i told you nice try haha

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!

Why Did The Skeleton Have No Friends? He Was A Boner! Heheheh! Ah, See Ya Soon Kiddo. Im Goin On Break. Ill Give You Some Fried Snow Later!

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested”. The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?”. The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish”.