Hole jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Tiger Woods is a lion cheetah. He took a wife and seventeen mistresses because he just had to play all eighteen holes.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.