What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
What's Reddit?
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
