Her jokes

Map

    • Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

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    • Wine

    • I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

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    • Sister

    • This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

    Maria

    • Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

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    • Leo

    • Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.

    Wife

    • My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

    Coin

    • A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

    She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

    Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

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    • Sister

    • Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

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    • Name

    • How did the black woman name her 4 babies?

    Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.

    How did she differentiate them?

    She called them by their last names.

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