Handicap jokes

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

Q: What is the hardest part to eat on a cabbage?

A: The wheelchair.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."