Newest Grandfather Jokes - Page 2

I was given a invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney. Thats why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Teacher:tell me a moral story Little Johny:once my grandfather was in WW2.he saw everyone praising to kill him.for example we should sneak up and kill him,we get the helicopter above and shoot him from there.my grandfather heard this,he got his gun and shot them all Teacher:what is the moral even? Little Johny:never plan to kill my grandfather

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially baiting a rod. I guess you could call him the Master-Baiter

I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium

My grandfather loves hitler. They both had one Ball..

Hey guys im back I was grounded by my grandfather so yea.

me grandfather told me i'm to reliant on technology, i called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

MY grandfather said that is was to reliant on technology i called him a hypocrite and cut him of life support.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"

There are 2 dads and 2 sons they all caught a fish, Why did they only come home with 3 fish? (Answer) There were a grand-dad- dad- and son. If you don't get then it means grand father is the dad to the dad(1 dad) dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather, Get it?

"I hate when people make 911 jokes because my grandfather died during the twin tower attacks, he was the best pilot in saudi arabia"

I was making a bet with my grandfather who would die first I said that I would die first. He said "Bet" and Died after he drank his coffee He was my least favorite grandparent

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family: " My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans and my uncle against the Argentinians." The friend replied: " It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!" GPerri Milano