Go jokes

“Life is going swimmingly,”

“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”

Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?

Because he's dead.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Why did Catholic women stop going to church?

Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.