Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS
Why did the dick go insane Someone kept messing with his head
I told my mom do you want to see a magic trick she said yes. I said you are going to have hot dog and cream pie together. My mom said no I'm not, but I told my mom I'm going to need your assistance. First I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attach to me which she did, the next minute my mom has a cream pie over here face. Then I told my mom you see you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together. Then my mom said when you are you right you are right.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you 😫
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55." The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!" The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible." The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Your mom is so dumb, that somebody told her 'go get a life', she go play Super Mario, and get an 1-up.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles ' N Bits!!
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude
Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarter back
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted Nothing much I just decided to go home
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
If you're bored punch a orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A Piece of Sodium That Lived in a Test Tube Fell in Love With a Bunsen Burner "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
Your hair line go so far back that it was getting wip in the 1800
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza. Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
