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Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)