Gaming jokes
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.
What is the most played game in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.