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What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?

Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.