Funny jokes
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.