They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A nectarine
Yo mama so stupid she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I don't jizz on a apple before eating it
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
what do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce wait do not leave yet if you are still reading this you have been rekt ha ha at least im still laughing.
We almost dawned when we went out boating but I got a watermelon to keep me flooding
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose tell his family he/she was a fruit now he/she's a vegetable at least there still in the produce section
What kinds of apples grow on trees? -All of them.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
what's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your way into someone's pants
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
