Friends jokes
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.