New Flip Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

What's green and is dangerous?

Kermit with a flip knife.

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!

So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.

I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!

I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

Three gay guys walk into a bar.

There is only one stool left, what do they do?

They flip the stool over.

There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.

The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”

So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.

The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.

The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.

The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.

While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”