Find jokes
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says: