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This is coming from an Indian btw and I find it very racist and it all stereotypes.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

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  • POV: me telling a joke.

    My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

    Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

    Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

    Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

    A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

    And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

    A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

    “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

    The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

    The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

    “It’s really not your day, is it?”

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  • Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

    One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

    Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

    I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.