Family Jokes

Why do orphans love playing tennis?

Because it’s the only love they get.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.

Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Why do orphans hate baseball?

They don’t know what home base is.

Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.

And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

A. Cancer.

What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.