Family jokes
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't go home.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.