A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
Why canât orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
Why canât an orphan play baseball?
They donât know where home is.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
Whatâs the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if theyâd rather, Build-A-Dad.
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
