Family jokes
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
Orphans got me like: 😂
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."