Family jokes
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Your dad has a huge PP.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
My Mom: your so pretty! Me:
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
My dad went to go get milk.
Mom! (DYM 22)
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.