Family jokes
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.