If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
