Encounter jokes

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

I met him once, but he wouldn’t give me his autograph!

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

Two pedos are on the beach.

One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?

The Captain's Log.

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?

Pokemon!