Domestic jokes

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.