Housekeeping jokes

When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.

Why are wives also called a housekeeper?

Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.

What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?

Answer: SUCCulent

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.