Do jokes
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
How do you get away with rape?
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.