Do jokes
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Memes
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.