Do jokes

Eminem

What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?

Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...

Moment

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

People

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

Cow

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

Driver

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.

Welfare

Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?

Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!

Fridge

A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

How did she survive?

Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

Date

There is a man and a woman on a date.

The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.