Do jokes
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
"How do you make 7 even?"
"Take away the s."
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
Memes
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.