Do jokes
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
Memes
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
What do you call AG?
A beta male.