Do jokes
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Memes
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"