Do jokes
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.