Do jokes

Orphan

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Hotel

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

Abortion

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

Memes

Epileptic

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

Woman

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

Law

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

Fire

What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.

What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.

What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.

Guy

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

Woman

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Santa Claus

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

Bed

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

Necrophilia

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."