Dip jokes
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.