Dip jokes
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Your momma is so fat that she can't even go skinny dipping.
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.