Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty Nuts.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek
So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .
why do orphans dip thier oreos in milk? because their dad never came back with the milk
I dipped my hand in red food dye so I said looks like I’ve been caught red handed
If your dad didn't bring the milk what are u dipping your cookies in?
I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk
do you i can shot a basketball ? i make i dip like water
