Daddy jokes
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."