Family Jokes jokes

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.

What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?

Family jokes.

Why does the orphan hate family jokes?

Cus it doesn't have one.

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.