What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
What's the hardest part about sex with a thai girl?
Her, probably
Aboriginals around for 50,000 year invented the spear.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Spanish is difficult when my mom gives me food she says toma and that's drink in English so I always drink my food
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
Africa
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country? A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
American Says : "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..." Sardar ji Says : "Accha ,India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
The happier they get, the less they see.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
