Croak jokes
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Go commit neck rope.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.