Cream jokes
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.