Cop jokes

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?

Magic-cop!

Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.

If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Friend: How dark IS your humor?

Me: It started an organization against cops.

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?

“Wait, you’re getting paid?”

*trigger alert*

Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?

Because there were too many black holes.