Newest Compliment Jokes - Page 2

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours) Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

ur smash me so hard i gave her the d

So I was in the bathroom at school washing and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like "hey can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like sure and I was like come here and so she came over to me I was like girl look at ur self in the mirror and she started laughing so hard and she said I'm so ugly.

You so ugly whenever you say hi to so when they walk away and say that you were too ugly and they go take a bath right away cuz you so stinky and they say that you look like your mama wait your Mama must be either just like you because I can see her way from a mile You say you put on perfume but every time I spell you you feel like you poo poo you're so ugly that when your mom look in the mirror you cry you're so stupid the second grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten Head start every grade below you you can't even go to 20 grade stands for 9th grade you can't even go to grocery stores and people that tell you that you're so ugly they give you compliments just to make you feel better you know that everybody just like you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings so just stay in your mind hey you want to text Matt you know it was you because every time you see you you think that you matter fact he doesn't even like it for you he just want your money girl who even like you 😈😈

I gave my sister and compliment and say she's pretty than while she was saying thanks I said pretty ugly.

Me: you are pretty her: thanks me: pretty ugly

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.

your favorite artist must be reahana the way ur forehead shnes bright like a diamond

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful

Say Hey your pretty then she'll say omg thank you so much or something cringe then you say pretty f ing ugly aha gottie

What did one tower say to the other damn you looking fly

So two people are on a date and the guy says “wow you are so beautiful” then the girl says “you just want to have sex” then the guy adds “SMART TO!”

Hey girl are you my boss ‘cause you just gave me a raise #pickupline

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”

One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!