Coming Back

Coming Back jokes

Orphan

  • An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

    "UNKNOWN"

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  • Orphan

  • Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?

    Because they don't have a home.

    Man

  • A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.

    The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."

    The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"

    Gear

  • The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

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  • Blonde

  • A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."

    The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

    The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

    The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

    The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

    The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

    The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"

    The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."

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  • Orphan

  • "Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

    I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

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  • Reincarnation

  • This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

    Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

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  • Wish

  • There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

    The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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  • Man

  • 22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

    31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

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  • Indian

  • Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

    One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

    The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

    Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

    The not so smart Indian replies,

    "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

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  • Indian

  • An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

    It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

    The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

    The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

    The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

    Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

    Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

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