Clinic jokes
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."