Climbing Jokes

Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,

“Boo.”

“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”

Jack sat down next to her and smiled.

“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.

“That sounds fun,” said Jill.

“C’mon, let’s go!”

The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.

“You ready?” Asked Jack

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.

Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.

“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.

Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.

“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.

Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...

Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what’s going on ? Why you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under a crying sad voice "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers then my mother and raped my sister." The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breech cloth then said “Guess this isn’t your day is it”

One time an and was collecting food suddenly a wind and pushed the ant to the river the ant said help help and a pigeon heared it then he grab a leaf and throwed It in a river the ant climbed on it and then pigeon and the ant became best friends but one time a hunter came to kill the pigeon when the saw him she bites his leg and the pigeon flys away from the arrow and that's how friends are everybody

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going. The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun...and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl I saw a red truck. So I said "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said "oh and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?

Comment down below

Why did the girl bring the Ladder to school because she wanted to go to high school

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side

My stepdad took me to work and he told me I could climb trees. I woke up in a hospital, wait did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack

my step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work, I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

*One day u see a girl climb a pole and ask her* Why are u climbing that pole Because a boy payed me to He did that to see your underwear Oh. Ok *next day u see her do the same thing* why are u ding the same thing Well I got him this time. I did not wear underwear

why did the girl study in the tree she wanted a higher education

I remember my grandads last words. "Are you still holding the ladder."

Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the check

why did the koala climb the tree?

to get to the other branch :)

He made it don't worry

There was a Cowboy riding in an desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what's going on ? Why do you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under an crying sad voice "The indians came, killed my father and my mother and raped my sister." The Cowboy just laughed unlocked his belt and put his trousers down and said "Guess it isn't your day is it".

There was a man in a tower and the other man thought it was a girl so he said let Down your long hair and he said ok I will let my big super long harry penis down for you to climb and suck then the other man said if you have such a long dick suck it yourself se ya bith

One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy

Who are you?

I am mountain man