Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"