Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
