Catholicism jokes

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."